#do you remember that scene on kung fu panda the first one

[musubiki]

my sister in law is a chiropractor and also incredibly tiny (like 5’1 and wears kids shoes) but she can adjust people like twice her size fully based on her technique and it always amazes them. im imagining this tiny little grandma adjusting lime’s giant ass and doing it with ease. like she cracks his back and hes like wtf

you KNOW madam springs has her patients lying down on the little chiropractor bed, doing some kung fu shit on their spines and tossing them like a fucking salad, and then shes like "All done!" and its the best youve felt in your life

[harvestingsun]

SPOILERS FOR KUNG FU PANDA 4

This is a massive rant btw. I have a lot of thoughts about this movie

(TW: Bad spelling and not remembering any names 💀)

...

Yh so I'm ranting rn

Like it was good, but not great 🕴️. Does not compare to the first 2, DEFINITELY not the second one, that one was just 🙌🏽 . And u know, that's ok, it's hard to pull a puss in boots and do better than the originals, but still the movie was lack luster

These are my points for why:

1. Plot was SO obvious. As soon as I saw that fox I knew she d be the new dragon warrior, cuz yh. Just obvious. And you know what? I wouldv been fine with that if they developed her character more. Like her bond with po SHOULDV been developed SO MUCH MORE. It felt like their whole dynamic was she was sarcastic and he went 🥺 n that's it. Like, why couldn't they have bonded more on them both being orphans ? How she feels unwanted because the world has rejected her and KEEPS rejecting her, but Po (who has gone thru a very similar thing) can teach her that yes that may be true, but that won't always be the case and once she finds her found family she can feel accepted, just like what happens to Po.

2. The villain and her daughter - so much potential but not enough done for them. Like just. I loved their dynamic, just SO MICH POTENTIAL BUT NOT ENOUGH GIVEN. There was one flashback of them meeting. That's it. There was basically only r4 interactions between them aswell: the betrayal scene, the "I'm using you" scene,the flashback and the final fight. And in NONE of these does it show how strong of a connection they have what about their relationship makes the fox betray Poe for the chameleon??? I wish we had a shi fu and tai lung type flashback where it showed the chameleon raising her and them developing a bond so that we know how hard it is for the fox to go against her orders

3. The villain herself - what motive ? U cannot convince me that "I'm evil because all the kung fu masters rejected me because I was too small" WHEN THERES A SNAKE THE SAME SIZE AS HER AND A F*CKING BUG WHO ARE BOTH AMAZING KUNG FU WARRIORS . like no. Just no. Someone would accepted her. U can't use her size as a reason for her becoming evil, just no. Instead, why not explain her reason being that she was poor/living in the streets ? A large portion of the movie is set around how there's a large group underground who have turned to crime, and poverty is often rampant in cities, so why not use that ? It also allows her to bond more with the fox as they have the same upbringing, but instead the chameleon was never able to get past how no one helped her and everyone rejected her, whilst the fox is able to accept where she is and find ppl who will accept her. Then they could've had a rlly impactful scene in the end where the fox accepts change and wanted the chameleon to change with her because SHE loves her and would fight for her, mother daughter style. Like writing that out just rlly made me think about how much they missed the mark, almost all 3 KFP movies are about father-son bonds, this movie could've had an impactful mother-daughter bond n it blew it 😩. So yh, I don't think the villains motive was fleshed out enough, I just don't think that her being small should have been the main centre for her character. Compare her to all the past villains, her motive is too simple and not developed enough

4. Tai lung and shen. NOT USED ENOUGH. How dare u bring those GODS OF VILLAISN back and not use them properly. And also have Po barely be surprised about them . SHEN IS THE MAN THAT COMMITTED MASS GENOCIDE AGAINST UR SPECIES, KILLED UR MOTHER AND LEFT U AN ORPHAN, Y R U NOT SHOCKED OR WORRIED THAT HE S HERE. And on top of that, ain't no what that peacock would simply bow and go " 🙂" and leave. He ain't bowing to Po, why would he respect him ? Shen doesn't CARE about being the dragon warrior, that wasnt his calling or whatever. Like, i could hav accepted it if he at least had a sentence apologizing for his actions, just ANYTHING that explains why he s so calm. I'm not angry that he is calm, I'm angry that it wasn't explained 🕴️(and tbh, I don't even think he needed a redemption arc much. He did horrible stuff, yes he has trauma, doesn't explain his actions. His death was a result of his arrogance and karma for his actions, I just think his character was fine (stressing him as a character was well written) the way it is, of anything this movie and taken away from his character )

And tai lung. Most of his character in this was comedy. And him going from "you are a mistake🙄" to "actually ur not a mistake 😏" within 10 minutes was annoying. I wish there was more interaction between him and Po. Then fighting together, bonding. Have them BOTH grow to move on from the title of dragon warrior together, since that title is such a grand part of both of their identities that they both have had a tough time letting go of. Once again, I'm not angry that he made jokes n was acting goofy (that was fun, I liked that), I'm annoyed that the movie didn't explain or provide context for why he was able to get over his past feelings and beliefs.

I can understand that they died and were able to let go of their actions in their mortal life, i just wish that it was addressed or properly shown. Especially shen, in his last moments he was given the chance to fess up n be good and he still refused. Bro died with u finished business, I would like to see how he came to terms with that or at least hav it b addressed

Overall, the bringing back of the past VILLAISN was fumbled. So much potential, but not used and on top of that it just kinda makes a joke of them and their original actions.

--> quick add on that I just remembered. Where r the five ? Like, I understand that they could've get the actors back or whatever. Ok find. But why not hav the chameleon capture all of them at the start and then they remain captured/past out/in a coma the rest of the movie until they R rescued :/. Like. That's such a better way of writing them out cuz a. It gives Poe even more incentive to want to take down the chameleon B. It makes the chameleon a much more threatening villain, cuz all the chameleon does in this movie is push one dude down some stairs, and then bring back so dead ppl, lick them n put them in a cage 🕴️. I would appreciate more stakes. ALSO PO SHOULDV TALKED ABOUT HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH THE 5 MORE, cuz this guy is a yapper, ain't no way he ain't talking bout them. It couldv once again been a way he bonded with the fox, if both of them had looked up to the 5 or something like that, or maybe even just about how Po can't wait to accept the fox into his found family

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: wish they developed po and the foxes friendship. I might hav said this b4, I hav bad memory. Just there could've been more bonding , wish there was but alas 😪

5. Poe s trauma ? Now, I'm a psychology student. I love seeing mental health and depth show in movies so I kno I'm being a bit picky. I just wished that we could see more of Poe coming to terms of all the stuff that has happened to him. Or at least referenceing it. I just think that he was way too jokey and light hearted the whole time. Like, there was a scene where fireworks suddenly went off next to him. I wish he flinched or anything like that, since fireworks were such a big thing (almost a trigger) for him in the first movie because of the mass killing of his species by shen. Like, even if he has gotten over it all, it would have been great to have him reference everything he s been through. It could hav been one of the things he bonded over with the fox, how yes, times get tough but you can get thru it if u r supported by the right people

Like tbh I think it wouldv been rlly cool if this movie focused on love :both the healthy and toxic types. Bringing back old villains can reference old baggage , like the toxic love between tai lung and shi fu, and the chameleon and the fox. It could be about breaking those toxic habits and changing to move past them and let the last go. Po couldv acted as the message of that, he could show his surroundings characters how to let go of the past to move on to a better future . Like, after everything he s been through that wouldv been so impactful.

Overall, just a lot of missed potentials in this movie. Still liked it tho. So here are some things I liked.

Visuals: fun visuals . Tho I do think some of the scenery wasn't as memorable as previous movies. Like comparing this villains hideout (wrong word but oh well) to shens, shens is so much more memorable and impactful. Looking at it you feel intimidated. In this movie, not so much. But it was still very pretty and u can tell some hard work went behind it, had some great animations, very smoothe, so yh :)

VIOLA DAVIS AS THE CHAMELEON 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 LOVE HER, LOVE THE VOICE ACTING JUST 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 like, the chameleon wasn't fleshed out as much as I'd hoped, but I still love her because I can FEEL that's she could be AMAZING cuz everything else was great except for the lack of backstory. Like I love her power, I love her character design, I love her voice .

The gay dad's 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I loved them. Highlight of the movie for me🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 every scene I saw them I smiled. I just loved them so much, that was so cute, I love how they cared about Po so much AND CARED ABOUT EACH OTHER!! That was so cute. Loved that so much. I would watch an entire movie of them cuz just 🙌🏽🙌🏽 loved them so much.

So yh, that's it. Gonna go rewatch all the other movies now

[lovelytayforce]

Why Oogway from Kung fu panda is the most supportive grandpa and not a huge bitch! And your fave villain is actually a huge bitch! <3

Now, I know what you’re thinking? Why the inflammatory and very obviously vague post? Because it’s being spread everywhere like wildfire and I’m tired of it. We get it, you all love your men like Tai Lung and Kai but they're not the UwU babies you HC them as, and blaming Oogway isn’t making them look cool or cuter. So, without further ado, I, Oogway’s lawyer will step up to this fandom’s unjustified hate for him just cause they got hit with the consequences of their actions. Now, let’s start with the first movie because you people can’t seem to grasp the simple lesson in the film that “Your actions have consequences.” Okay, remember that? It’s very important. And I need you to remember it okay? I’m counting on you! Alright, let’s start with the literal first scene with MR. PING AND PO: Yes, this is important, just stick with me okay? Po asks his father right at the beginning if he ever wanted anything else in his life outside noodles.

He even calls his own dream stupid, and you can see he slightly regrets it in the scene if you watch closely enough. This was the first mistake Ping made, he was repeating a cycle of denying the younger generation of their own dreams and needs without even realizing it. Now, we can actually get to our favorite turtle. Two things we have to talk about before we move on is the fact, this second scene is dedicated to foreshadowing mostly Shifu’s character, every little reaction to Oogway is a means to tell us why Shifu needs to calm down and think before he acts. Remember? “Your actions have consequences.” Now, you're probably looking at the scene like, this was just a funny joke scene but no. Shifu is distressed expecting nothing but the worst news while Oogway is calmly accessing the situation at hand, he doesn’t reprimand Shifu because he knows the pain his friend is going through, he was there for it and stopped it before it could kill him. Shifu here displays everything about the quote below, had he not rushed Oogway and merely listened to the very end he would have understood what to do. 

This is one of the rawest quotes that follow Shifu and his son throughout the first film, they are both avoiding the inevitable, trying to stop what must come. Life doesn’t bend to your will and that’s what Oogway is telling Shifu right here in the present. But what does this dummy do? Try to ruin what Oogway was doing from the get-go. 

Had Shifu not panicked and quickly told Zeng to leave then Tai Lung would have never escaped. IT'S IRONY AND say it with me, the consequences of his actions. Oogway even tells him this in the scene where he reveals it is time to pick the Dragon warrior, and Shifu makes so many assumptions that Oogway never speaks of the legend itself. Shifu makes the Dragon warrior seem bigger than life itself but Oogway never says that. If you haven’t realized: Shifu assumed things. 

He’s not actually seeing the true picture Oogway is laying out for him, he’s just waiting for that big moment, uncaring of how it affects others. (Aka the five cough his own daughter cough and even his own son cough) He’s clouded the water for everyone and only Oogway is the one who sees it for what it is. Oogway does nothing but tries to guide Shifu away from this mentality that not only destroyed his own son but himself in the process, remember the Ping scene I showed you at the beginning This is the same thing. Shifu has done nothing but projects himself onto others and that’s not only an aspect in the films, it was in the short “Secrets of the scroll” too. 

“You must let her grow into what she must be.” - Oogway. This isn’t the first time he's said this to Shifu and surely will not be the last. Shifu is by all means a stubborn character who leans very heavily toward how traditional Kung fu is taught along with its ideals. He focuses on strength, speed, and endurance above all else which is also shown in the film's training course. He does not divert from tradition, just like Ping. Oogway doesn’t hold the same ideals but respects Shifu unconditionally despite their differences. Because he respects and cares for Shifu along with his children. He does the very same with Po, never outright disagreeing because that’s not helpful to them, that won’t allow them to grow as people. Into who they are meant to be. Po goes on and on about how he sucks and Oogway is understanding, he doesn’t say “Oh you’re great just the way you are.” He allows Po to vent the way he wants to and gives him actual support when he needs it most.

Po shouldn’t be concerned with how he sucked today, because he can try again tomorrow and get better as time goes on! And that’s the truth when you start something, especially something as difficult as Kung fu with a teacher who's comfortable bullying someone 40+ years younger than them is HARD. But what Po needs to focus on is the PRESENT. He tells that to EVERYONE. To focus on the now instead of the past or the future, that’s why it’s a gift. Because you can choose who you want to be at that moment. The past is already gone, decided, and written, and the future is uncertain and leaves you with nothing but anxiety at what could be. But right here, right now. You have a choice. And now we get to the main man himself, Tai Lung aka the loser stuck in the past: Now again, you’re probably pausing like “Really man? Calling Tai a loser from the get-go, do you have no shame?” And I reply with a “No, I do not.” Because he is a loser and the film shows that. Very clearly. I know we all love the awesomeness of the escape scene but think about the context of it real quick: This FORTY-YEAR-OLD MAN, let me say this again FORTY YEAR-OLD MAN, was hard-pressed to release himself for one thing and one thing only, The scroll saddled with his revenge for something he was never promised after endangering innocents in the past and then endangering more guards for a scroll. Take that in for a moment. Doesn’t that sound like loser behavior? Don’t you think maybe he could have taken that time to, I don’t know, think about why he wasn’t chosen or if he wanted literally anything else in his life. He had no one to talk to, so he should have been using that noggin’ for something useful but he didn’t. 

Oh, lookie here! It’s “THE CONSEQUENCES OF SHIFU’S ACTIONS NEGATIVELY AFFECTING THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM!” 

Also, this man is out of his goddamn mind. Like we have to move forward here so we can realize the full delusion in this single frame. But I’m getting off-topic, we have to talk about when he was rightfully denied the scroll. Now we have to note two very important lines here because Tai Lung fans have very selective memories, so we need these screencaps

Okay, that is the first line, the second is Po’s line before this, it’s very clear even to the common folk in the Valley, Tai Lung was an ambitious, selfish, and one-track-minded fella. With the line: “He turned bad and went to jail.” Now, let’s think back for a minute about Oogway’s morals. He supports people who are kind and uplift others even though sometimes they do questionable things, Shifu bullying Po-but that’s for another conversation. But he obviously would not pick someone who is solely focused on such a selfish goal. We all know the scroll is blank, and you have to love and accept yourself for who you are in the present. Tai Lung would not be able to understand much less accept that because he wanted the scroll to change him into something Shifu told him about, not Oogway. Oogway had every right to refuse Tai Lung, that’s his school, his house, his scroll and without him, he and Shifu would be without a roof. Now, remember what I said about Shifu’s beliefs in traditionalism right? You're supposed to listen to your master as they guide you, Shifu albeit a stubborn student and Master, listened to Oogway, and Tai Lung should have followed suit, he grew up there. But no he CHOSE to ruin everyone else's day, and let me show those innocents by the way. 

HE'S LITERALLY ASKING FOR SHIFU TO COMMIT FRAUD! Tai Lung showed what his ambition truly was and Shifu didn’t see until it broke right through him literally, Tai lung doesn’t even hesitate to swat his father aside before going for the scroll before Oogway stops him and spares his life for his old friend, Shifu. Because he cares. Oogway cared about Tai Lung and let him choose who he wanted to be. Remember? Actions have consequences. Tai lung has had two instances of his life where he could have chosen to do better and what did he do? He fucked it up. Just decided to be a bitch ass sore loser instead of bettering himself which is what Kung fu is about, it’s what Po did. But you know, that’s life.  Speaking of, Shifu is mostly at fault for this. I think everyone knows that? Oogway as I said above with the short, tries his best to guide Shifu on his horrid parenting journey but such is life. I’m sure we all know someone who shouldn’t be a parent and if we could we would ban them from being around children in general. Back on topic, Shifu has a problem of not listening to Oogway as we’ve established: - Didn’t listen til he got sick to let Tigress be herself - Bullied Po and didn’t listen until Oogway died - Filled his son and daughter’s heads with untrue folklore of the Dragon warrior missing key elements such as Kindness in the memo… - Also, he tried to “Well, ACK-TUALLY” him in an argument about control. Shifu is not a very bright man. And neither is his son. Po and Ping are a direct mirror to this though in the fact that, unlike Shifu, Mr. Ping stops and realizes his son is in distress about the whole situation and does something special. He tells him the secret ingredient which is nothing but believing something is special because he believes Po is special. Shifu stopped believing in his son, which is why Oogway asked him to promise to believe and even took his meek reply of “I’ll try.” When Shifu and Tai Lung met again they couldn’t mend what Tai Lung destroyed, not even an apology could heal what his son broke inside Shifu. And Oogway knew this. Because you can’t force a peach tree to grow into anything else but what it was meant to be. No one in the Jade Palace was meant to be the dragon warrior, they should have been training for themselves but they followed Shifu. Nothing was ever promised to anyone. And again, that’s the beauty of life, you can change. Every day you change, every time you look into that blank scroll you see every little change you worked for and some you got along the way figuring it out. Tai lung does not have that though, all he has is Kung fu and that’s Shifu’s fault. Not Oogway’s, you cannot blame someone who never promised you a thing and simply told you no. You have to move on.  Tai Lung even naively states, he only thought of Shifu’s opinion, never the Master who bestows the scroll itself. He was not in the present, all he wanted was the future he was never promised and blamed everyone else for it and hurt his own father, in the process. Not once, but twice. Shifu only admitted Tai lung was not meant to be the Dragon warrior and that it was never his decision to make and even goes so far as to ask Shifu to falsify the results of who the Dragon warrior is. Shifu was too late in allowing his son to dream. Oogway had nothing to do with any of their dramas. They decided to push themselves so far instead of cherishing the present. And that’s why Oogway is the best grandpa because he doesn’t force his ideals down your throat because he listens to your troubles without downplaying how bad you feel because he believes in the power of change that we all have but accepts we don’t always take the right path. That is the true gift. The gift of change. As for Kai um idc, he was stealing people’s chi, aka killing them, and being a horrible person to people who helped Oogway in his darkest hour, so fuck him. I still love his theme but again, Kai’s actions caught up with him and he caught them tortoise's hands for being an asshole.  Bye~! Also, Shen's a bitch too.

[oblivious-aro]

I remember you saying you had some thoughts on Morro being a less effective version of Tai Lung from the Kung Fu Panda movie. Do you have any more thoughts on that :o

Quick introduction, both Morro and Tai Lung are students who turned evil much to the of their old teachers (Wu and Shifu respectively). If you watched Kung Fu Panda 609 times as a child like me, you probably caught on that Morro's character was taken whole cloth from Tai Lung.

Now let's get into the details!

So Tai Lung and Morro have two parts to their character: the threat/villain aspects, and the tragic relationship/falling out with their mentor.

As a villain, Morro works pretty well. Possessing Lloyd establishes him as a threat both emotionally and power wise, since he's taken someone the ninja care for deeply and robbed them of their most powerful member in one swoop. I always kind of thought of him as the dark version of Lloyd, but he’s really more of a “What season 1 Kai could've been”, further supported by Kai's unyielding determination to protect Lloyd this season, contrasted against Morro literally using Lloyd as an actual meat puppet and casually threatening to kill Lloyd to get what he wants.

He’s threatening, hateable, and thematically appropriate as a villain.

As for his “tragic” relationship with Wu, well…despite general fandom opinion, it's actually pretty weak.

Tai Lung's screen time is dedicated to building up how powerful of a threat he is, outside of two key scenes that establish and build on his relationship with Shifu. The first is a flashback that happens somewhere around the half point of the movie. Reveling that Tai Lung was groomed to work his entire life for a role he ends up being denied point-blank recontextualizes the audience's feelings about Tai Lung. Up to that point he was presented as just some dangerously power-hungry villain, but now that the audience knows that Shifu has a personal connection to Tai Lung, and that changes their feelings on both of them.

The second relationship-focused scene is the penultimate fight between Tai Lung and Shifu. Before the combat, the two of them have a conversation that is just loaded with tension, and that tension stays prominent for the rest of the fight. The audience obviously doesn’t want Tai Lung to win, but watching Shifu attempt to take down the child he raised with his whole heart doesn’t exactly feel all sunshiny. Everything from the dialogue to the dark and rainy atmosphere (later heavily contrasted against Po’s triumphant fight in the rising sun) is meant to emphasize the heaviness and tragedy of the fight, building the flashback and Shifu's character growth to twist the knife in the audience's heart.

On the surface, Morro works similarly, spending the majority of his screen time being built up as someone that needs to be stopped, outside of two scenes that focus on his relationship with Wu. While Tai Lung's flashback happens in the middle of the movie, Morro's is told in the second episode of the season. Changing the timing of the flashback changes the effect it has on the audience. Instead of establishing an evil scary guy and then going ‘oh wait, there’s also this other important aspect to him’, we see the more human (literally) side of Morro almost straight away and then spend the remaining 80% of the season showing how evil he is. If Morro’s backstory garnered any sympathy from the audience, it will inevitably be overshadowed by the proceding 8 episodes of Morro doing nothing but make selfish choices. Doing Morro's flashback earlier has the exact opposite effect that Tai Lung's flashback had on his story.

Also worth noting that while a large part of Shifu’s characterization comes from his hand in Tai Lung’s fall (his cold relationship with his new students, his need for control, etc), Ninjago shifts the fault more so onto Morro as a person:

Wu: After I told him he could be the Green Ninja, there was a hunger unmatched.

Morro: (He kicks some of the other trainees, making them fall. Aggressively) Get up. Get up!

Wu: Enough.

Morro: But Sensei, I'm gonna be the Green Ninja. I need greater tests.

Wu: I said, enough!

Kung Fu Panda meanwhile feels no need to shy away from the idea of Tai Lung's actions being the result of Shifu's failure as a teacher. In fact, it embraces it:

Tai Lung: Not your fault!? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny!?

...

Shifu: I...I have always been...proud of you. From the first moment I've been proud of you. And it was my pride...that blinded me. I loved you too much too see what you were becoming...what I was turning you into...I'm s-...I'm sorry...

Ninjago doesn’t completely kill the vibes, it’s still understandable that Wu would be sad a student of his didn’t turn out well, but lessening the responsibility Wu’s bears for the way Morro turned out gives their relationship a lot less weight than Shifu and Tai Lung’s, and lessens the impact their relationship had on Wu’s character compared to Shifu’s. They do retroactively imply Morro's reaction was the reason Wu never told his new students about the green ninja prophecy, which is kind of neat, but Wu doesn't really seem to be affected by his relationship with Morro beyond that.

They're not showcasing Wu being affected by the soured relationship, or building up any kind of emotional conflict about having to oppose his old student. The fact that this season's antagonist is Morro doesn't make Wu behave any differently than he would with any other run-of-the-mill Ninjago villain.

Shifu's character, as I mentioned earlier, is felt in pretty much every moment he's on screen. You can feel his fear of history repeating itself in everything from how frugal he is with praise for his students, to the sheer panic in his voice anytime he and Oogway talk about Tai Lung returning.

In fairness to Ninjago, Shifu was a character made entirely for that movie and nothing else, so his character was built from the ground up with his relationship with his student in mind for the whole process, while Wu is an already existing character in an establised franchise (that's also on a much smaller budget than a Dreamworks movie *ahem*), but they aren't really trying to build up the relationship between Wu and Morro outside over the course of Posession at all, outside of the two specific scenes I mentioned.

Speaking of, there’s the final scene between mentor and student that both charaters share. For Tai Lung, this was a fight, and for Morro, it's a redemption, and I don't think the writers considered how that key difference would affect Morro's story very deeply. Morro and Tai Lung follow the same structure of building up how evil and threatening they are until their ultimate defeat, and since Tai Lung’s story wasn’t building towards redemption, neither does Morro’s. This is fine for Tai Lung, because the emotional climax of his story is acceptance of the tragedy that his and Shifu’s shattered relationship is completely and totally beyond mending. Not only that, but it mainly takes place over a fight. It makes sense to just continuously ramp up Tai Lung’s threat level.

Morro on the other hand, completely switches sides at the last possible second of both his life and the season. With no buildup, his redemption feels very sudden and insincere. This guy who’s been plotting around the same obsession he had as a child for decades, kidnapped and possessed a child, put in the work to literally rewrite destiny, and made deals with satan/hell herself just decided “Actually I’m good now okay byeeeeeee!” in the space of two seconds?

Tai Lung and Shifu’s fight crushes your soul a little. Morro’s redemption just leaves you going “I guess that happened?”

They ripped off Tai Lung and only got him half-right.

[rex101111]

The Croods is such a weird couple of movies.

The first is like a pretty standard family animated movie from the new-tens; animated well enough, a few funny jokes, kinda annoying main characters...and then, in the last thirty minutes or so of the movie, mid fucking scene, its like DW woke up in the middle of production and remembered “OH WAIT A DAMN MINUTE WE MADE KUNG FU FUCKING PANDA WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS” and then The Freaking Croods has the nerve, the audacity, the temerity, to suddenly become a deeply emotional movie about family and the fear of losing those you care about to the point of pushing them away and its so fucking jarring but it fucking works.

And then The Croods 2 is just riding the wave of those last thirty minutes, seven freaking years after the fact, and is just. A really good, really emotional, really freaking funny movie I’ve seen in a while. Also, two songs during the credits are sung by Tenacious D so that automatically makes it one of the best movies ever made.

....im gonna go watch the series now, fuck it. 

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Kung Fu Panda 3

Alas, we have reached the end of the beloved Kung Fu Panda saga (at least until later this year when 4 comes out). I remember seeing this when it first came out, but much like the rest of the series, I didn't remember much about it going in. I did have a few minor issues with 2 during this watch through, so how does 3 hold up?

We pick up with Po and the Furious Five facing another new threat, an old peer of Master Oogway's, the spirit warrior Kai, who is determined to steal chi from all of the masters across China. Amidst this, Po reunites with his birth father, Li, who takes Po back to the hidden panda village, promising to teach him to use the power of chi he needs to properly confront Kai. Throw in a jealous, but well-meaning Mr. Ping, a village full of lovable new panda characters, and a plot about learning to become your best self and embracing who you are, and we result in an utterly beautiful movie with a touching and fantastic story to tell.

So yeah, I loved the hell out of this one. I still think the first Kung Fu Panda is my favorite of the series, it's just so beautiful in its simplicity and its message really spoke to me. But this one is also fantastic, with a lot more focus on the characters and the emotions this time around. Po is always a great character to follow; he's so fun and lovable and I love to see him come into his own as we round out his arc throughout the entire series in such a wonderful way. The Furious Five also get some much needed personality in here, with lots of great quips and jokes from them and Shifu alike. Mr. Ping gets some great focus, I always liked him in the first two movies, and he's just as much of a hilarious sweetheart here too.

As for our new characters, Li is a great addition to the cast; I love how he bonds so wonderfully with Po and they develop such a sweet father/son relationship that's put to the test when a certain revelation happens towards the middle of the movie, one that you can't even blame him for because he just doesn't want to lose his son again. The rest of the pandas are also a lot of fun, very silly and cute and not overstaying their welcome. Kai is SUCH a fun villain too! I will stand by my opinion that this series has consistantly great baddies, probably some of the best Dreamworks has to offer. Kai is hella intimidating, but he also has some hilarious moments too, courtesy of J.K. Simmons bringing his all to the role.

The animation here is next level. Like seriously, this franchise is consistently beautiful, but this one is just gorgeous. There were some moments in here that just made my jaw drop with how utterly pretty they are. The colors are so vibrant, the locations so lively, the characters move so fluidly, especially in fight scenes, and the stylization is so utterly well done that you can just tell so much love and care was put into every last frame. The music is also INSANE. Like seriously, Kai's theme alone goes so damn hard when it doesn't have to, and the rest of the score is so fucking beautiful man, I'm gonna have to listen to it while writing or drawing at some point just to soak it in by itself.

While not as emotionally impactful to me personally as say, HTTYD2, I still got a little choked up at some points here, especially during the climax and its aftermath. The movie also excells with its comedy, with a lot of really fun little jokes thrown in throughout. Overall, I feel like this movie tops Kung Fu Panda 2 because it just feels more... I don't know, focused? Like it doesn't meander and spend so much time on action scenes, it has plenty of that yes, but it also has so many solid character interactions as well. And I loved every second of it.

It's bittersweet to be bidding my second favorite Dreamworks franchise farewell as far as this watchthrough goes, but at least it's going out on an absolute high note (again, for now). Maybe I'll do a drive by review of Kung Fu Panda 4 when I see it, idk how to feel about it based on just the trailers alone, so I'll reserve judgement till then. As for Kung Fu Panda 3, well... it's a masterpiece. Simply put.

Overall Rating: 10/10

Verdict: Oh, to be an asexual panda with two dads

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

I think I speak for everyone when I say that Jack Black is awesome. Ever since the one-two punch of 2008’s Kung Fu Panda and Tropic Thunder, Black has steadily seen himself rise to becoming a wacky and near universally beloved cultural icon, with zany YouTube videos and roles such as the gay psychic viking musician Helmut Fullbear in Psychonauts 2 and fucking Bowser of all people in The Super Mario Bros. Movie fully cementing his status as one of the most fun actors working today. But this sort of adoration wasn’t always the case.

Sure, everyone loved School of Rock and Tenacious D had a solid stoner buddy comedy film and some amusing songs, but Black’s career prior to the 2010s was pretty spotty and filled with bad and disposable comedies; there’s a reason he’ s playing the character stuck in a rut of making nothing but flatulent fat joke comedy movies in Tropic Thunder, after all. He still had some speedbumps to overcome before he’d reach Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and Goosebumps even after his well-received 2008 films, and after starring in a film in 2009 that ended Harold Ramis’ career (and that I’m sure you’ll all vote for me to rewatch eventually), he made a pit stop in 2010 to dent his own career… but it wasn’t just him who suffered thanks to Gulliver’s Travels.

You see, this movie has an interesting bit of trivia to it that s likely the only reason it’s even vaguely remembered at all. Emily Blunt was contractually obligated to star in this film as a result of starring in The Devil Wears Prada, which on its own isn’t all too interesting… But because of this, she had to skip out on being Black Widow in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While Iron Man 2 wouldn’t have been better with her in it, the MCU as a whole might have benefited from having an actress as good as her as the first superheroine in the franchise. Maybe we could have even gotten a Black Widow movie sooner, and with less awful villains and terrible CGI!

This is all the film gets remembered for today, if it’s remembered at all: A footnote for the MCU, and one that hurt the careers of its lead actors for a couple of years until they were able to bounce back with more critically-acclaimed films. At best, those into more niche and obscure media might know that this films has a lot of material reworked from a scrapped adaptation of the Prometheus and Bob shorts from Nickelodeon’s KaBlam! It can’t even be remembered as some ridiculously huge bomb, because even with it making less than half its budget back domestically, internationally it managed to double it!

So hey, maybe those international audiences were on to something. Sure, it was critically reviled but it was also successful overseas, so maybe other countries knew something we didn’t here in America. Is Gulliver’s Travels really that bad, or is this a hidden Jack Black gem that America was too hard on?

THE GOOD

I think what really surprised me the most is the set design and costumes. Maybe I’ve just been absolutely poisoned by the non-stop onslaught of CGI as of late, but it was really nice to see some actual sets, actual costumes, and actual effort on display in a movie, even if it wasn’t the most amazing thing out there.

The film also has some very fun sequences, all of them obviously revolving around Jack Black. There’s the scene where he has to put out a fire and, uh, uses his natural hose to extinguish the flame (which is apparently lifted directly from the original book), which manages to be one of the only funny pee jokes in human history thanks to James Corden becoming doused in urine; there’s a scene where JB has to defeat an armada of ships and manages to do it with an accidental counter attack that eerily manages to foreshadow the climax of Kung Fu Panda 2; and there’s a scene where JB is banished to an island where he is kidnapped by a giant girl and turned into a doll in her dollhouse. Fun sequences like this make full use of the world the film has created.

Also, yes, it’s a bit dumb and cringey how one of the major conflicts in the film is solved by Jack Black randomly breaking out into a musical number, but if you’re gonna pay for Jack Black you gotta get him to sing. This one time, I’ll let the corny dance party ending slide—but it’s on thin fucking ice.

THE BAD

I mean, with both James Corden and T.J. Miller in the film, it’s no surprise there’s plenty of suckiness to the proceedings.

I think the main issue is that the film is too short and doesn’t really do enough with its premise. Now, I’m no expert on the book this is loosely adapting seeing as I’ve never read it, but I feel like they could have done more than just liberally adapt elements for a silly family film, and I also think eighty minutes isn’t nearly enough time to really delve into things. And even having never read it, this is taking one of the greatest pieces of classic literature written by one of history’s sharpest satirists (Johnathan Swift, he of A Modest Proposal fame) and turned it into a wacky vehicle for Jack Black. It’s kind of hard not to feel a bit bitter we didn’t get a straighter modernized adaptation instead of a wacky family film.

Aside from that, though, the worst I can say is that some of the humor is pretty dorky or cringey, and that not a lot of performances really stand out. The former is to be expected from a silly family film like this, but the latter is pretty damn shocking considering the massive amounts of talent in this film. Black is having fun, but his hamming doesn’t always land, nor does his oversaturation of pop culture references; Emily Blunt and Jason Segel are okay, but they feel a bit overplayed and underplayed, respectively; Billy Connolly is barely even trying as the king, but it’s not like he’s given good material; and the rest of the cast are perfectly serviceable but not exactly standout. Everything is just okay (even Corden and Miller, but I hate them so let’s just say they suck).

I think my biggest issue is that even if nothing is done offensively badly here, the film’s story is packed far too tightly with the most expected family film cliches you can imagine. You’ve got a really basic “liar revealed” plot at the core, you have the character getting bad romantic advice from his friend that leads to a third act breakup with his love interest, you have the most shallow romantic arc in the world beside that with one of the most unrealistic reactions you could ever imagine from a woman who has been repeatedly lied to by the guy crushing on her… It’s just really tired and sloppy. You have seen all the plot points here in a dozen better films.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Maybe it’s just because I was expecting a lot worse, but I honestly found this film to be kind of charming.

Like, sure, it’s not really anything special. It’s just a goofy Jack Black family film, and as far as those go it’s definitely nothing compared to Nacho Libre. But it doesn’t really overstay its welcome, it has a few chuckles, Black gets to sing, and James Corden gets doused in piss, so I can’t say I didn’t find some enjoyment in it. It’s a silly little disposable bit of fluff that’s fun to watch once and maybe put on in the background if you need some noise, and there’s a place for films like that in this world.

But, you know, I kind of get why audiences didn’t vibe with this. Nothing in this movie is as offensively bad as a lot of other family fantasy films of the time, but there’s nothing that really stands out here either. You’ve got some cool scenes, cool ideas, and Jack Black hamming it up, but none of it really ever gels into something great. This is a completely average, somewhat enjoyable, and kind of forgettable film, and I completely understand why it has faded from the public consciousness besides being a bit of MCU trivia. It’s not offensive or bad enough to really bring out intense emotion, but it isn’t good enough to gush about, and Jack Black has been in so many better roles lately that utilize the traits this film is banking on far better that it’s hard to recommend this unless you’re really curious or bored.

That 4.9 is pretty harsh though, honestly. I gave it a 6, mostly because I just found the whole thing endearingly dorky, but realistically I’d say maybe in the mid to high 5 range is where this movie belongs. It’s got plenty of cringey moments and it’s not really mind-blowing, with it relying far too much on cliché plot elements you see in a lot of bargain bin family films, but I think there’s just enough effort on display here to make this a passable viewing experience. As far as corny Jack Black movies go, you could be doing a lot worse than watching this one.

A lot worse.

[grayzeppelin281]

Hey, I have a few questions about the relationships between the characters, as I promised at the last writer ask game...

1. 🔥Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

2. I know that Prince Huoju and Phantom were very close to each other. But what exactly are their relationship? Is it a one-sided adoration and idolizing by Phantom? Or are those two actually in love with each other? If it is, how close were they? just having feelings towards each others or close enough to... mate?

3. Lao and Hong were described as a couple in your story. But since Lao is married with Lady Huiliang. So,what happened between them? If they broke up, how did they?(did one of them tell the other, or did they silently ended it without a word?)

And the most important question...

4. What is the relationship between Po and Tigress in your story? Are they just friends like the canon? I know that Po wrote love letters to Tigress, then is it a one-sided crush by Po? Or are they in love with each other? If it is, how close are they? just having feelings towards each others or close enough to... mate?

Okay! I'll answer some questions!

1. 🔥Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

Nope! My books are safe for the general audience. So. . . That's a quick pass.

2. I know that Prince Huoju and Phantom were very close to each other. But what exactly are their relationship? Is it a one-sided adoration and idolizing by Phantom? Or are those two actually in love with each other? If it is, how close were they? just having feelings towards each others or close enough to... mate?

My baddies are (platonic) mates. What started their relationship, Huoju found her (a cub) in a cave, where a group of Huns from Mongolia were attempting to kill Mingling. While I am terrible at romance (I am only good at writing friendship), Mingling has her idol to loving her only Huoju (her hero). Despite the beliefs in fighting for what Mingling could imagine, aside the revenge and hatred with her whole life, slaughtering people without mercy, she has been with the Prince of Darkness for centuries (when a mystery caused her age to be immortality, being a shaman).

3. Lao and Hong were described as a couple in your story. But since Lao is married with Lady Huiliang. So,what happened between them? If they broke up, how did they?(did one of them tell the other, or did they silently end it without a word?)

Of course. . . I nearly forgot about that one.

Hong had her insanity idea to marry one who actually cares. Both of my characters are friends. I think Hong would have wanted Lao to find a lady who is more lovely and spiritual than crazy. Besides, I believe their platonic relationship is ironic, but Hong and Lao are good companions.

They'll likely speak with each other again after his marriage.

4. What is the relationship between Po and Tigress in your story?  Are they just friends like the canon? I know that Po wrote love letters to Tigress, then is it a one-sided crush by Po? Or are they in love with each other? If it is, how close are they? just having feelings towards each other or close enough to... mate?

Their relationship, my fellow reader(s), is friendship. If I remember well from my first book (planning to rewrite and edit A New Prophecy), Po used to write a letter to one of his closest companions that he truly meant to him. Tigress became caring with the panda after Po defeated Tai Lung, thought she was wrong about him, despite jealousy impacted her. She was almost going to be chosen as the Dragon Warrior, but instead, she's proven to be an honorable fighter than reflecting the scroll to greedy (Tai Lung).

(To be open-minded, you have to understand that when you have proven yourself worthy, with all the hard work you have achieved many years, you look at the Dragon Scroll and see yourself. No riddles, no secrets of Kung Fu, no secret ingredient, just you.)

Ever since Shen happened, at the factory, Tigress saw Po get shot from the cannon and blast away (and survived). Even that she has those who are encouraging, unlike her skills that the Five are capable of (Thanks to Po, who replaced the scroll with a list of four ideas than Shifu's red panda warriors. Secrets of the Scroll), she nearly lost Po, who cares Tigress.

With their friendship, I say both Tigress and Po are close friends.

That's all the answer I can get! Thanks, Righteous!